I increased my Neuro-Lyme meds again yesterday and I have never done 2 successive increases so quickly before (10 days apart) because it tends to make me very sick. I did it because I want to get this treatment over with and I am hoping to feel better by spring.
When I woke up this morning and knew it was going to take a monumental effort to get out of bed and try to excavate some positive energy from somewhere inside myself today. In defiance of this pain, depression & fatigue I focused on the many things I have to be grateful for and I decided to just put one foot in front of the other and see how the day unfolded.
I put a pot roast & veggies in the crock pot, and felt very grateful that dinner was taken care of so early. I got an email that my niece was in a bad accident. She was hit by a drunk driver but she is going to be OK so that was another thing to be grateful for. I took the dogs out for a walk because the sun looked so inviting but it stubbornly scooted behind clouds for the whole walk. Still the fresh air was nice and when I got back I headed into the studio.
Yesterday I had gotten out some gauche paints and just started brushing them onto some 80 lb paper in big sweeping streaks. At one point a lady appeared so I went with it but did not develop her very far as the paper would not allow too much fussing around. Today I did the same things but with oils on unprimed 80 lb paper and another lady showed up so I allowed her to surface and then let her be as the paper was beginning to protest all the water and paint being applied to its unprimed surface. Last night while watching a movie I had done a sketch that I called Adam’s Lament and I briefly thought of developing that into a painting today but I am way to fatigued, anyway it will keep.
I also took some paintings on silk that have been hanging around forever and ironed and photographed them. I remember hating both of them when I first did them but now I sort of like them. Funny how the Eve/serpent thing that showed up in my drawing last night was in the silk painting also.