It's a Start...Self Portrait Sketch Ready to Lay Out on Canvas

I am running on only a couple of hours sleep today as I had terrible insomnia last night. Don and the Dogs snoring kept me awake all night and I am really feeling it this morning, plus it is freezing (below zero) and that always kicks my pain up a notch but all that said my mood is continuing to improve now that we are post Christmas.

Yesterday I spent the day in the studio working on my self portrait sketch and ended up with a rough drawing that I am very happy with. I really enjoyed the process and was deeply stirred and touched by some of the elements that showed up in the drawing. It felt very freeing to be working on something of my own and not something with the pressure of knowing it had to be good enough to sell. I did experience some fleeting moments of guilt at not producing “real work” and thinking “If I don’t sell this what will I do with it after I paint it”.

I did the drawing on 80 pound paper because I have a ton of it in the studio and I was not sure how many sketches I might end up doing before I came up with one that I wanted to paint. Since it is a pretty thin paper I think I will just transfer the drawing to canvas instead of refining the drawing on paper first. Since I am a silk painter and work with dyes in a manner more like watercolor oils are a bit foreign to me and I have only ever done a handful of oil paintings. Since I am not well versed in the medium my final paintings tend to stray from my original drawings and it will be interesting to see if this one retains any resemblance to me after I paint it. I am sure it will come out more primitive than the drawing did but in all honesty I kind of wish the drawing itself had been more primitive, I meant for it to be but that vision shifted on me as I drew it. I think partly because I still think I have to draw “good” drawings I sometimes lack the confidence to create more primitive works like I used to.

Well, I m going to start a load of laundry, grab my coffee and head into the studio to transfer the drawing to canvas, then I will need to muster up the courage to get my oil paints out and have at it. Wish me luck.